Teaching Women

Its no secret that I love teaching women.  And its something I am always seeking to learn more about and improve at. 

At the TWAW National Leadership Conference this year we had the blessing of having Vicki Farnam as one of the presenters.  Vicki is the wife of John Farnam, who is a well-known instructor and who in 1996 was selected to receive the "Tactical Advocate of the Year" award from the National Tactical Association.   Vicki has years of experience in teaching and has developed a program to help male instructors be more effective in instructing women.

This may come as a shock to you, but men and women are different.  We are totally equal, but we are different.  We (generally speaking) communicate differently.  Ask any couple who has been married for a while, we definitely communicate differently.  We process information differently.  There are even biological bases for the way our brains process information. 

To illustrate this at our Conference, Vicki asked 3 men who were present to come up on the stage and make a circle with the chairs.  They did.  Then she thanked them and told them to put them back where they belonged.  We all laughed, but this was much more than just a stunt to get laughs.  She made her point crystal clear when she said, "now if I had asked women to come up on the stage and make a circle with the chairs it would have gone very differently.  They would have asked questions.   They would have wanted to know how many chairs?  How far apart do you want the chairs?  Do you want the seats facing in or out?  Where on the stage do you want the chairs? 

And we laughed again because we all knew it was SOOOO true. 

Women, generally, like details. 

This is just ONE way in which men and women approach a task differently. 

Now can you imagine how that might relate to teaching someone to shoot? 

Vicki had made the point too that women like to completely understand and "master" one task before they move on to the next.   I had to laugh because I remember at one of our classes a woman became frustrated with one of the male instructors and said, "JUST TEACH ME ONE THING". 

It does all of us as Instructors well to consider these differences.  I do believe men can teach women. I have learned from some of the best male instructors out there, , but not every man is willing to adjust his approach to do so well.  We have all encountered students who we could not teach because they believed they already knew everything.  Instructors can be much the same.  Even great instructors can learn how to be better.  In fact, a great instructor WILL make an effort to learn how to be better.  If our goal is truly to impart a skill, we will be open to leaning new ways of doing that better.

I am grateful for Vicki, and for her influence on the TWAW founder Carrie Lightfoot who developed a course for instructing women.  Carrie now teaches the TWAW Instructor Certification Course at the prestigious Gunsite Academy in Arizona. 

You can check out Vicki's book and website at Defensive Training International

You Want Me To Put That Where??

Ladies know that concealing a handgun is a challenge.  We have challenges with our wardrobe and we have challenges with our anatomy that men just don't have to contend with  and sometimes do not understand.  Let's talk about that.

Me, trying to dress for church with a Glock 19,
extra magazine, flashlight, tourniquet, keys,
knife, and ... lipstick

Wardrobe

One reason women have a greater challenge than men do when carrying a handgun because our wardrobe changes from day to day,   We don't always have a waistband.  Sometimes we wear dresses or skirts, or yoga pants.  That means we are going to have to look at ways to carry that may be less than ideal.

On the body carry is going to be your very best option.  I know, I know ... there are times when you can't pull that off.  There are simply times when we have no other choice than to carry off the body.  Its not ideal and I would encourage you to not make off the body carry your primary method of carrying, but for those times when you must carry in a bag, consider one of the Vertx bags that are made for concealed carry and allow you to draw your gun faster than you can from a purse. 

I LOVE my Vertx bag. I have the commuter sling and its pretty much perfect.  There are several reasons I do not recommend carrying in a purse but the main one is that I simply am not convinced that you can get your gun out of a purse and get on target fast enough.  I know I just made you mad.  I'm sorry.  I just don't feel like lying to you is going to help you and I really, really do want you to have the best chance possible if you have to defend your life from an attacker.  If you really must use a purse, use one that is made for concealed carry.  Don't just put a gun in a purse, not even if it is holstered. And if you carry in a purse, please treat it like a newborn baby and don't take your eyes off of it for a second.  If you leave it laying on the kitchen counter or your desk - guess what - a loaded firearms is in that and its up for grabs to anyone who walks by.  If we are honest, most of us are just not diligent enough to take the gun out of the purse and secure it.  And then it is no longer quickly available to us if we need it.      This video will help you think through all of those options.  Grab some coffee and take a few minutes to watch.

Anatomy

Let's face it, sometimes certain parts of our anatomy get in the way when we are trying to get to our holster.  Some of us are rounder than others, some of us are more well endowed than others, and some of us are short-waisted which makes it feel like you are reaching into your armpit to access your gun.  What's a girl to do? 

Work with your curves.  We all have curves.  They may  not be where we want them to be, but we all have them.  Make those curves work for you!  Try moving the holster around to different positions on your waistline and see what allows you to access your gun the easiest and fastest.  I love and recommend appendix carry because it truly is the best position if you need to access your gun fast, which you do in a fight.  Here is a hint - small of the back carry is probably the hardest and least effective, plus you can really hurt yourself if you fall or are thrown to the ground and land on that gun that is right over your spine.  

Women's Products

Fortunately there are some companies out there making products that take into account the unique needs of the female concealed carrier.  Unfortunately, many of those products are not designed to help her be successful in a deadly force encounter.  They do well at holding the gun, but too many of them leave something to be desired when it comes to accessing your gun quickly, effectively, and safely. My best advice - never sacrifice safety for the sake of fashion.   We are getting better all the time though so I do have some hope and you can find some good products out there that keep us ladies in mind.  

Belly Bands

A lot of women like belly band holsters.  They do have their place, but I can't personally recommend them for your primary carry.  My issue with them is that they usually have a pocket that requires you to use both hands to reholster.  I've just seen too many women muzzle their support hand as they struggle to get the gun back into that little pocket.  I think they would be great for joggers, or if you have workout clothes on.  That is about the only time I would really feel good about them. 

Unsafe Holsters

Just because somebody makes and sells a product does not mean its a good idea.  Its a good idea to avoid any kind of holster that collapses requiring you to put your fingers inside to open it in order to reholster.  "Pocket" type holsters are just that - a pocket and not a holster.  This is often a feature of  holsters that are made for women.  Every holster should meet these safety requirements:

• The trigger guard should be covered completely
  
  
  
• It should be molded to your particular firearm providing you with passive retention (having it slide out of the holster is not a good thing)
  
  
  
• It should attach in such a way that when you draw your weapon the entire holster does not come out with the gun
  
  

Minimalist Holsters

Minimalist Holster are popular because there's not so much bulk to have to stick inside your waistband.  Some are made well and very safe, others, not so much.  DO NOT get the "clip carry".  Its a clip that attaches to the slide of your gun. It is sold as a holster. It is not a holster.  Its an accident waiting to happen because the trigger guard is not covered at all.

If you want a minimalist holster, I recommend the Raven Concealment Systems Vanguard.  Some people will love this holster, some will hate it, some will freak out when they see it thinking that it is unsafe. It is safe. Some people feel it doesn't conceal as well. I feel like it conceals better than any other holster I've used.    It completely covers the trigger guard and has a great attachment system and it really does keep the holster very secure. I use this often.  The drawback to these are - you can't train with them because you can't reholster it. For day to day carry, I like it a lot

Belts

I know, I know.  You HATE belts.  So do I!  I find that most women really don't want to wear a belt.  However a good belt is an essential part of your concealed carry if you carry on the waist. The absolutely most comfortable belt I have ever found is the Ares Gear belt.  I was sooo reluctant to buy one because I despise belts and didn't want to spend big bucks on something I really didn't want.   But I can tell you it is the most comfortable belt I've ever worn, so much so that I wear it at home even if I do not have my gun on.  It is durable, holds its shape, supports the weight of the gun, is easy to take in or let out, and even offers lower back support.  It is truly worth every single penny and can make wearing a belt something pleasant.  I had a leather concealed carry belt that was made for women before. I think it was around $80. I hated it.  It did the job just fine but I felt like I was being strangled and couldn't move.  I couldn't wait to get home and get the stupid thing off.  With the Ares belt I don't even notice it.  Take it from an avowed belt hater - the Ares belt is a good thing!

Beware!

Some holsters that are good but need adequate training to use are the active retentions types with a button that needs to be depressed in order to release the firearm.  Most notably (although there are others) is the Blackhawk Serpa.  

It is not a bad holster however far too many people use it incorrectly and end up with a negligent discharge right into their leg.  Ouch!

IF you choose to use this holster (I don't recommend it) you must keep your index finger (trigger finger) straight while depressing that button.  If you tend to curl your finger it is likely that you will bring the gun out of the holster with your finger on the trigger..  Youtube is full of videos of people shooting themselves in the leg with this or a similar holster. Many ranges do not allow shooters to use this holster in training due to the fact that they are often used incorrectly and result in students being hurt.   My advice, is just don't.  There are better options out there.  

Recommendations

I recommend a kydex or other hard thermoplastic  holster made for IWB, a good quality belt that is made for concealed carry.  Why kydex?  

• Because it holds your gun securely (having your gun slide out of your holster is never good.
  
•  It remains open so you can reholster much safer,
  



What I carry.  Glock 19 in a Raven Concealment Systems
Eidolon holster with an Ares Gear belt

• And it is smooth and slick so that gun will slide into the holster much easier than any other material.  I've watched far too many people trying to reholster their gun into a leather holster and struggle to the point I feared they would shoot themselves.

I have used Raven Concealment Systems holsters for the past few years and I doubt I will ever use a different holster.  They are simply great holsters.  I have never had an issue with them nor have I seen or known of anyone else having an issue with them.  They can be a little on the pricey side but - you tend to get what you pay for.  Its certainly less expensive than buying a box full of holster that are useless.  Buy once, cry once.  

Opinions

Everybody's got 'em.  These are mine.  You are always free to make your own choices and have your own opinions. I have had women vehemently argue with me about purse carry. I'm not going to argue.  These are my options.  I've had most of the holsters out there and the box of them to prove it.   My opinions are based on  my experience.   I also work with a group of highly skilled SWAT officers and Special Operations Military guys who have years and years of experience. I think its wise to listen to them.  If I didn't learn it firsthand from my own experience, I've learned it from them.  Its your life and your gun and your holster.  Just be safe.  

Ladies, we've got this!  We have years of experience concealing things.  Concealing a handgun shouldn't be too difficult of a task.

Its Different, Teaching Women

I love teaching women.  I teach men too and like that as well, but there is something about being with a group of women that is just, well ... different in such a refreshing way. 

Some of my observations are:

• Women are generally more conscientious.  They want to perform the skill correctly.  They are less interested in being fast and furious with a gun and more interested in learning the skill. 
  
• Women talk.  Oh do they talk!  Sometimes as an instructor, this can be frustrating and annoying.  However, that is how women process information!  They are learning when they are talking (assuming it is talk related to what's going on). A good instructor will recognize this and be more patient.  Instructing is not always about what the instructor is saying - its how the student is processing the information.
  
• Women love feedback!  I have found that women really respond to feedback, and not just positive feedback.  They thrive on the positive feedback but they need honesty and welcome it.  They do not like to feel like someone is placating them or tolerating them.  Women have a keen sense of that and will respond to the instructor accordingly. 
  
• And of course, there is the all-female environment that allows women to discuss things that they would never discuss and ask questions they would never ask if men were present.  Our anatomy is different and that can present some issues that men just know nothing about.  

These are just some of the things that make teaching women a delight!  It is also beyond rewarding to see women who value themselves and love their family enough to get out of their comfort zone and do what they need to do to be able to protect what they love.  Women are fierce in protecting what they love and it is awesome to see that they love themselves enough to defend themselves.